🔗 Share this article

“Well, conditions are quite harsh here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to put everything they’ve got into preserved goods and firearms.” This piece of sage advice comes from the Brain Gremlin – a scientifically altered, speaking, spectacled member of the slick creature crowd that swarms Manhattan’s ultra-modern Clamp Tower skyscraper in helmer Joe Dante’s madcap sequel Gremlins 2: The New Batch. On the surface, it’s merely an financial suggestion from one monster to another. However, in a strange manner, it’s also pretty solid existential counsel. Truly, listen to my reasoning.

When life takes a turn for the worse, the biggest mistake you can do is take things too seriously. The Brain Gremlin comprehends this. Actually, the majority of the dentally-gifted beasts that occupy Dante’s unrestrained 1990 movie (possibly his finest) possess the same wry, meta comic sensibility regarding the blurry line separating daily routine and absolute bedlam. It’s one element of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that maintains my loyalty – and the older I get, it’s the underlying idea that echoes the loudest.

A Childhood Obsession

Of course, my fondness for this movie did not begin on such an introspective level. In my youth, we only had a few battered VHS tapes at home. Among them were Gremlins and its sequel, the latter housed in a bulky previously-rented case likely purchased from an off-brand video shop and boasting snarling creatures on its worn-out artwork. I was instantly captivated and these films quickly proceeded lodging themselves inside my young, susceptible psyche. After that point, they became an almost-daily part of my early years entertainment regimen.

Dante’s first film usually receives all the accolades, thanks largely to its reputation as a moderately spooky festive favorite – and to be fair, I’ve watched Gremlins more times than I can count. Nevertheless, its follow-up seldom receives the same level of high regard, which feels unjust. As a kid, I’d always seize the chance to watch Gremlins 2. During long summer holidays, I’d retreat into the house and play it. When I obtained my very own TV-VHS combo unit, it remained on repeat in my bedroom. Over time, it ingrained itself in my mindset. If my parents detected this preoccupation, they didn’t seem to mind.

Deeper Discoveries and Pop-Culture Nuggets

As I matured, new revelations rewarded frequent screenings, elevating the fun of watching diminutive verdant beasts happily vandalize a New York high-rise. I learned the forward-thinking property magnate and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was based squarely upon the eventual commander-in-chief Donald Trump, with his auburn-haired worker Marla (Haviland Morris) alluding to his one-time partner Marla Maples. Luckily, Clamp has more heart than his genuine article inspiration.

The “apocalyptic” video Clamp plays during peak-Gremlin chaos? I discovered it was inspired by a real-life “Doomsday” video created by the CNN boss Ted Turner in case the world really ended. I noticed how Dante went out of his way to film varying versions of a self-referential segment where Gremlins seize control of the actual feature in progress. An edit for movie houses, a separate one for tape and broadcast, each providing a grinning portion of meta pop-culture magic before the term was even a thing.

An Enduring Legacy

While it was makeup maestro Rick Baker’s wonderfully grotesque creatures that drew my gaze as a child, this subsurface richness maintained my fascination as an adult. Eventually, I even spoke to Dante about it myself and he had no qualms telling me he made the movie with the express purpose of mocking those who loved its silly-yet-sincere predecessor and desired a sequel. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he cheerfully disclosed. This anarchic rebelliousness and resolve to not take his sequel as solemnly as his Warner Bros bosses evidently expected, only made me love it even more.

When I endured a sudden family bereavement recently, I was surprised to find that, during my heightest mourning, all I wanted to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Weird, right? Possibly not. The soothing reminiscence it furnished was necessary to weaken my mind’s grief morass – but the perspectives it had bestowed upon me as an adult were similarly beneficial.

Like Gremlins tearing apart a genetics laboratory, there’s some things in life you just cannot manage. Dante knows it. The Brain Gremlin knows it too. Sometimes, you have to emulate them: accept the turmoil, put everything you’ve got into preserved goods and firearms and try not to take things too seriously.

It’s powerful existential guidance from a very unlikely source – and it’s why Gremlins 2: The New Batch will eternally stand as my go-to cinematic solace.